Hey party peoples, as usual I have not written on here and I am sorry for that. (from the bottom of my heart) but I want to correct that and show you some things that I actually have been doing these last few months here. I write for a local magazine and have even had two of my writings "published" I will say published because it makes me sound much cooler than I am. Really these are just my idea on the subject of sex which they asked me to write about. Now I will take this time to apologize to my family.... ok I feel better now. On with the show.
“Its not cheating if you are fucking, its only cheating if you are making love.” “I get bored of her and need to find a new girl, but in the morning I still love my girlfriend.” These are things men have told me here in Skopje. Guys who I considered good and who I respected them as my friend. Most people who are in relationships love their boyfriend or girlfriend very much, so much that they want to have sex with other people on a regular basis. It seems that in most relationships, there is something missing.
To be in a relationship means you can make that person feel like the only one in the world or it means you can make them feel hurt more than anyone else in the world. Basically you have that power.
To love is to trust, to care and to want. Most of the same people who told me these things about cheating on their girl also told me that if their girl cheated on them it would crush them. This is the power that love has over people and when people play with love they tarnish the things they say. To say you love and to be in love are two different things. Ask someone who is truly in love and they can tell you this.
This is not about telling you to not have sex. Sex is fun, it is better than any day to day activity in comparison. There is a reason why we all enjoy it so much and a reason why the people who are not getting it, want it so bad. But the truth is, with sex comes responsibility. The responsibility to be safe, I will not even mention STD’s because anyone with common sense knows about them. It is the responsibility to think about who and why you are having sex. I will say again, sex is fun. But is sex really fun with someone who is just using you? Someone who only cares about you for that one night or a few nights out of a month?
A lot of people use the words sex and love together, but they are two different things. All of this comes down to respect. Not respecting others, but having respect for yourself to think about why you are in this reverse cowgirl position.
Now this was another one that I did just recently. It is about open relationships, the magazine asked me to write about open relationships so I went with the most stereotypical ideas that I could
Open Relationships
What is a relationship status? According to facebook, it is what and how you are connected to another person you may be in a relationship with. This seems like a difficult concept or maybe its something easy, that networking sites like facebook are making complicated. Maybe facebook has tried to simplify it all by adding the “its complicated” option to their list of choices. However being in an “open relationship” brings up more questions.
In the most basic way, an open relationship can be defined as caring about someone enough that if you HAD to be with one person and one person only, they would be that person. This does not mean that they don’t care about each or love each other. Remember this is a complicated subject.
Some people are in regular relationships that are forced into open relationships because of distance, ideals or a hyperactive sex drive that one person alone cannot satisfy. Because of this there may be an understanding between the couple that they do care about each other, but they are still not ready to settle down completely.
Open relationships that are created because of distance are some of the hardest to maintain. Usually these are the kind that if the two were living nearer, they would be exclusive to the other. Since there is such a distance however, they are secure in their feelings enough to allow the other to bang whomever they would like. It’s the understanding that making each other hold back from enjoying some sexual gratification isn’t fair that makes these relationships so special.
Some people really just don’t feel that they need to be tied down to a boyfriend or girlfriend. I wont classify this group as a swinger because that will be addressed next. This type of relationship usually has one of the partners want a real relationship and the other isn’t ready. A friend once said to me that he was in an open relationship and he can be with whomever he wants, but his girlfriend is going to get pissed at him. A lot of times these kinds of relationships deteriorate or finally become “regular” relationships after the final few flings have happened.
The final kind of open relationship is the “swinger” open relationship. This is not a bad thing at all. The couple knows that they care about each other. They know that they want to sleep with the other person and what the hell, why not sleep with a few other people along the way. These sorts of relationships require a lot of feelings and a lot of understand. Some people may think that the couple doesn’t really care about each other, but why then would they care enough to say they are in a relationship. If they didn’t have an emotional attachment they would just be fuck buddies.
These are not all the reasons people are in open relationships because as mentioned earlier, this topic is just too complicated to explain. However these are some very stereotypical, extremely vague and possibly biased reasons why people are in open relationships. When all is said and done though, the bottom line is that the couple have enough emotional attachment that they care enough to change their information in their profile from single to an open relationship and they don’t have to explain that to anyone. They seem happy enough. (and this is probably because they can get some ass whenever they want)
To conclude, that is me at a friends roaring 20's birthday party. I looked very much like a little german boy.
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